Build Connections to Avoid Power Struggles

Cooperative child anyone?

Feeling overwhelmed with constant daily power struggles?

Wouldn’t that be nice to tell your child something only once and they would do it? Perhaps they might even brush their teeth without the constant nagging?

Or not catching them all the time chatting with their friends while on zoom class?

We all want our children to grow up as responsible citizens where they are able to make good decisions. We want them to do so many things the right way. Do you feel you keep telling them what to do all the time and you get poor results?

Then you get easily frustrated because it feels your child is not listening to you.

It does not have to be this way. You can experience cooperative children without constant power struggles.

First of all:

Be Kind!! And teach kindness!! We all experienced that kindness, love, attention, can bring out the best in all of us. Where negative emotions, hatred, discrimination can drive anger.

Isn't being kind to others, showing respect and love to All make us feel more connected to each other?

Here are my two other cool and super easy tricks to do each day that can help you build cooperation and connection with your child:

· Fill their Connection Bucket and

· Fill their Power Bucket.

When children feel connected, adults too, they are more willing to complete those tasks that you are asking them to do.

How to fill the Connection bucket?

Here are some activities you can do lots of times throughout the day:

1. Listen to them with your eyes, with your ears, and with your heart. See them, hear them, and feel their story.

2. Spend 15 minutes of Special Time with them several times a week. During this time you will do what your child wants to do, not what you want to do.

3. Laugh together. Laughing reduces stress, helps ease anxiety, and changes the crabby mood. Have a pillow fight, chase him around the house, or watch funny videos.

4. Play 10 hugs a day. Hugs raise oxytocin (“happy hormone”). Hugs make us feel loved.

5. Read together a book or short stories. It’s okay if you end up discussing the book or trailed off chatting about what happened earlier in the day.

6. Compliment your children throughout the day. Notice the good, not just the bad and the ugly.

How to fill their Power bucket?

Empower them to make lots of small, or big, decisions throughout the day. Give them choices.

Instead of telling them all the time what to do, “Go brush teeth, get dressed, eat your vegetables, do your homework”

Ask them: “Would you like to brush your teeth before you get dressed or after?”

Nobody likes to be bossed around. Allow them to get small wins throughout the day.

When you pay attention to them, have fun with them, create connections with them, empower them throughout the day. You will have happy and confident children.

Notice, you do not have to spend a lot of time doing these actions. Just walk by and give them a hug, a compliment, a choice, etc. Little things go a long way.

Not only your child will be willing to cooperate with you, but you will also feel the connection you create with your child. You will also enjoy those hugs and laughs. It’s a win-win.

When you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or exhausted, tiny little changes in your habits can make a huge impact on your mood, motivation, and energy.

I talk about motivation, mindset, connection, and focus in the second pillar of my online course, “Success strategies to thrive in an unpredictable school year”. I am super excited to launch this course pretty soon. Stay Tuned.

Until then, I would love to hear what is your cool trick to create a connection with your child or spouse? What works for you?